Here is the audio of the resolution passed by the Stuyvesant Town Board tonight authorizing David Everett second partner and lead attorney in this case.
So here they are appointing a firm after the firm has already handled three planning board meetings, one appearance as special prosecutor, one appearance before the zoning board?
Shouldn't you approve the special counsel first, then have the special counsel write tortured secret memos explaining to the zoning board of appeals that they may not be a zoning board of appeals? The tortured secret memo already exists.
Shouldn't you approve the special prosecutor to pursue a charge he knows is false without approval of a judge before he actually writes motions? The case is already dismissed.
No, the town would say, we did approve the special counsel first in an executive session.
No, I say, you didn't. All you did, and it was illegal, was start the process of looking for a lawyer, not hiring one. And only for Planning.
Okay, town, why? Why did you hire special counsel? It can't be because I sued you. I sued you on March 28. You signed the contract on March 10.
Why? In the audio above the reason seems to be that I'm so terrible that I have all these cases and am filing all these FOILs (two FOILs!) and am so bad they have to get someone in here to put a stop to my lawlessness?
But all the charges against me are false, get dismissed, fall away, all false. You can't really blame me for having too many cases, can you?
I was charged with the same offense THREE TIMES. I know the constitution says you can't do that, but they did: planning, zoning and criminal court about the same thing: dog barking.
The charge of loud barking dogs is impossible according to the laws of physics because the site where the dogs are kept is 1000 feet away from any neighbor or road and sound tests, affirmed by the editor of the leading peer review acoustics journal in the world, says that the barking contributes ZERO decibels to the ambient noise level at 1000 feet.
That's what I did wrong? In other words, not a damn thing?
I am accused of an offense that is impossible three times. Then, because I have so many cases pending, and therefore must be a terrible menace to society, the town has to hire the most expensive law firm in Albany. But they will vote to approve the firm 4 months after the firm starts working and retroactively legalize the firm.
"Hello, Heavan, can I speak to Franz Kafka?"
"I'm sorry he's before the Stuyvesant board right now trying to find out what he did wrong."
First of all, obviously, David Everett should have to return the money he has received to date. He was working without legal authorization up this point, despite the town board trying to re-write history.
But it is still not clear that he is now legal.
At 1:20 Valerie Bertram says, "Whereas on February 10, 2011, the Town Board authorized the hiring of David R. Everett.
What? No they didn't. Read the minutes. Do you see the name of the firm in there anywhere? Zoning? Criminal court? The illegal executive session in February did not authorize the hiring of this firm. The illegal executive session authorized the supervisor to look for an attorney.
And the illegal session was illegal.
Tonight's resolution depends on the February 10, 2011 executive session due to the statement above. But that session was in violation of public officer's law, given the reason "personnel" before the executive session, and retaining special counsel without firing the old lawyer does not fall under the definition of personnel. Also, "personnel" is insufficient reason to call an executive session. Lastly the minutes of that session were never submitted and voted on in an open session and were not even written within 10 days of the end of the executive session.
So, on July 14, 2011 they passed a resolution to authorize something that has already happened without authorization based on a resolution to do something completely different that was passed during an illegal meeting.
Well, that clears things up.
Next, as 1:43 Valerie Bertram says she signed a retainer agreement withthe albany law firm on March 10. No way she can do that. She just spent money based on an executive session, an illegal one to boot.
And did she really sign a contract on March 10? Can we see it? Are there any phone records showing a pattern of phone calls? Where was it signed? Who was there?
Next, at around 2 minutes, we hear that they didn't break any laws. So why this resolution? If the executive session was legal, then you don't need a resolution in July.
Re-affirm? What kind of resolution is it that re-affirms something that never happened? The town never before voted to hire WOH, the law firm. In February they voted to look for another lawyer.
And what is this anyway, hiring a law firm to deal with one guy? Can you hire a firm to deal with one guy just because he's beating you? Some guy comes up here with no lawyer, Tal can handle them but if someone comes with some good lawyers and is clearly completely innocent, we'll go get the big guns?
That's got to be some kind of illegal. No way. Just for me?
Someone complained about dog barking? It's not even true. Therefore we have to hire the most expensive law firm in Albany?
You have to be smoking something they don't grow on this planet.
You didn't hire them because I sued you.
Then at the end they retroactively legalize the special counsel, which they claim, falsely, they already did.
I still say the special counsel is illegally representing the corrupt organization known as the government of the Town of Stuyvesant because the resolution does not acknowledge that the executive session was a screw up.
Now the reason is not that I said that Tal helped himself to $10,000 or that I sued the town. The reason for this is just I suck?
You are not going to lawyer your way out of this one. Even Mr. Wolf won't help.
Pulp Fiction Mr. Wolf Scene - Watch more Funny Videos